Love is a Four Letter Word
by Gryffinhuffinpuffindorin
Summary: Another one shot.. What can I say I love them! This is a HD it starts as a letter that Harry leaves for Draco on the night he's going to fight Voldy. I thinks it's rather sad, but it's filled with fluff to.. Oh! and it's not just a letter. R and R


_Love..._

_That's a hard thing to explain. It's hard to even start to figure out when your not sure that you've ever even felt the feelings for someone before. I have been pondering the meaning of love for awhile, and I have decided I have no clue what it is. I have decided that the word was foreign to me. So you know what I did? I looked it up, I looked up the word for love on one of those nights I was in the library. You want to know what the real definition for love is? An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object. That's what one of the definitions were. There were more then one but that one was my favorite. You're probably raising your eyebrow at that aren't you, well it's true that was my favorite. And you want to know the reason? It's because it just proves that the word love is a possessive word. And frankly I don't find my self in love with you._

_Now before you throw a tantrum or start crying, I have to tell you as I'm looking at you sleeping with your face lax of all the troubles of the world and your hair shining silver in the moon light, laying curled in the covers beautifully naked because you were too tired to get dressed after giving yourself to me, that what I feel for you is so deep so intense that it's not love. It's something more. I have never been able to find the word love anything more then a four letter word, what I feel for you can not be summed up in a four letter word. You deserve more then that._

_So this is my letter to you, my perfect person. I wish to tell you all the things I never have told you before, things you deserve to hear, things I want you to hear. And because there is no word for what I feel for you, I will be forced to use the stupid love word, just think of the word as a kiss from me and then hopefully you wont be mad at me for not being creative and being contradicting._

_I love the way you smile happily every time you pick up the stuffed dragon I gave you for Valentines, even though you said it was tacky and rather unoriginal._

_I love the way that way you cried over that movie I took you to. I even loved the way you made me sleep on the couch after I teased you about it, especially since you crawled on top of me an hour later because you said it was too cold in the bed alone and the couch looked more comfortable._

_I love your legs, this is one I have told you but I really must tell you again because they are perfection._

_I remember the day that I turned 17. I remember because you had burst into the Dursleys and jumped on my bed while they had called the cops on you. I even loved you as you kissed Aunt Petunia in happiness, though I did find it rather gross. I didn't even mind that it was four in the morning._

_I love how mean you are to Ron and Hermione, only don't tell them that them that I said that, it would be bad for my Gryffindor rep._

_The things you do in the morning. I love them. _

_I love the way that you like to kiss me wake, and I love when I kiss you to sleep._

_I love your coffee obsession, and how you always say you hate how I make your coffee but you only will drink it if I make it._

_I love the way you cried when your father died even though you hated him. I loved how you clung to me and cried into my shoulder, how even though you were glad he was dead you couldn't help but feel sad about it._

_I still laugh at the day you swore off Chocolate forever because it ruined the sweater I gave you._

_I love the way your face scrunches up and you bite your lip when I'm making love to you. I love how you whisper my name and how you yell it._

_I love you more then Quidditch...which is saying something as you very well know._

_I love the way your hair looks in the morning, how it sticks up all over the place. How it looks worse then mine when you wake up, and yet you still look so beautiful to me that it takes my breath away._

_I love your voice. How when you take a shower you always sing the same songs even though you don't know all the words to them. I also love how I end up humming them for the rest of the day just because it reminds me of you._

_I love how you hate going to Order meetings and always end up finding new ways to make me cum in public without even touching me._

_I love how you eat ice cream._

_I love the way you put your hair up in a pony tail on the top of you head when you messing with potions. I also love those huge goggles you wear that make you look like an alien._

_I love how you handle yourself so well when someone talks about how Voldemort and I will have to face off soon. _

_I love how you cry about the war at night, how you tell me that I shouldn't have to go and fight. I love how look after you cry._

_I love how you yell at me when I stop believing in myself._

_I find myself so in love with all of you that I could have the list go on for pages. I could write a book called 'All the things Harry Potter loves about Draco Malfoy.' And I bet you would love if I did, wouldn't you._

_I started crying as I was writing this. I was sobbing and I swore you were going to wake up. Half of me wanted you to wake up so you could stop me from what I'm going to do right now. But you didn't, for which I'm thankful, because I don't think I'd ever get the courage to do this again._

_Last week when I said I was going to just going to go have tea with Dumbledore and you looked at me like I must be stupid to think you'd believe the lie but didn't say anything, you were right. I wasn't going to just have tea. The order had found out where Voldemort was going to be on this very morning and that it was probably the only time he would be so unguarded for a very long time. _

_Please don't cry._

_I excepted. In about an hour I will be leaving, I'll kiss your forehead and leaving you peacefully asleep. I want you to know that even if I die today, even if you never see me again or I see you that you are my one and only. You're the other half of me. _

_...Damn tears..._

_Before I started writing this letter, I wasn't sure I even wanted to leave a letter for fear that you wouldn't understand why I didn't tell you to your face. But you have to understand that this is hurting me more then anything I've ever done before. Worse then Crucio. I'm too cowardly to tell you in person because it'll hurt too much to see how much this will hurt you._

_If I die, and I'm not saying that I'm going to, but if I do, I want you to have everything. I don't want you to grieve for me, I want you to find someone who will make you happy, make you not forget about me but make you realize that I died for a reason. Out of all the people I know, Draco, you are the one who needs true happiness, and although I really want to be the one to give it to you, if I'm not I want you to find someone who can._

_If I don't die today I want you to be with me forever. I want to marry you, Draco Malfoy. I want to marry you at Godric's Hollow where my parents lived when they were happy. I want to invite everyone to the wedding! I want to scream that I love you on every roof top in London. I want to raise a child with you. I want to buy a house in the country where you can make those potions you've been wanting to invent, and still be able to blow up half the house without causing the neighbors to call the fire department. I want to wake up every morning to you and only you._

_If I return after today alive, that's what I want to do. That is if you'll let me._

_The sun has just spilled into the room making you moan lightly as you rolled over. I held my breath as the blanket slipped down your body and showed you porcelain chest. You didn't wake up, but could almost hear your light 'good morning.'_

_I'm afraid that this is the end of the letter. I really have to go now._

_Your's only forever through life and death,_

_Harry_

Draco let the letter fall through his fingers as he cried in silent shock. He had found the letter laying on Harry's pillow when he had woken up later that morning. It was almost twelve as he dropped the letter to the floor.

He hadn't gotten out of bed after that. He curled up into a ball and cried on their silk sheets, and when he wasn't crying he stared blankly at the wall. He lay there simply in pain from not knowing where Harry was or if he was even alive anymore.

Harry had asked him to marry him. Whenever he thought about that he cried out in pain and something exploded in the room. It was around one when he finally got out of the bed and stood in front of the mirror. Harry had told him that he was beautiful, but he didn't see it. He let the robe drop, showing him only clad in Harry's boxers that he always stole. He frowned as anger filled him and reared back before punching the mirror, shattering it. And just as the mirror had, he, too, fell to the floor.

That was how Snape found him an hour later. Laying on the floor, glass everywhere around him, as he mumbled and cried into the floor.

Snape couldn't help but feel intense pain for Draco, and had quickly scooped him off the floor and into a hug as Draco mumbled to him about about Harry's letter.

"Shh, he's all right." Snape whispered to the hysterical blonde.

Draco's eyes widened and tears spilled over on to his cheeks as he stiffened in Snapes arms. Had he really just said that?

"That's why I was sent over here. To tell you that he was hurt, and at St. Mungo's but he's alive, which was more then we hoped." Snape said lightly as he held the crying boy. "It's over Draco. Voldemort's gone."

That was all that needed to be said before Draco burst out screaming and crying again.

It took a half an hour to calm the slytherin down enough to get him dressed and ready to go see Harry. When they floo'd into the Hospital, Draco fell out of the floo from exhaustion into the arms of Ron Weasley who caught the smaller boy with ease. Draco looked up into the blue eyes of the boy he had made fun so many times in the past.

He opened his mouth and asked quietly. "Where's Harry?" His voice was that of a scared little kid asking if his puppy had died. And it broke Ron's heart. Draco's eyes were red from crying and Ron could tell that they were about to leak forth more tears.

"Come on, I'll take you too him." Ron whispered, an arm wrapping around the blondes waist to keep him from falling as they walked down the long ER hall way. Doctor's were running this way and that. screaming at one another other, patients being levitated on bloody gurnies were racing down the hall. But Ron and Draco only knew themselves, the screams never filled their ears.

They finally reached a pure white door that was slightly open, and Ron paused to let go of Draco before pushing the door open and then Draco inside all the while staying out of the room.

Draco's eyes stayed fixed on the ground hot tears falling fast. He wasn't sure he wanted to look up, he was afraid how hurt Harry had gotten.

"Draco." The whisper was low and rather scratchy, but Draco's head snapped up and he covered his mouth as a sob racked through his body.

Harry was sitting up in the bed his head bandaged as well as his chest, he looked tired but other then that fine. Draco launched himself at Harry before he knew what he was doing and curled around his upper body. Harry rubbed his back in a soothing motion as he too succumbed to tears. He smiled and laughed through his tears. All it took was almost death and he realized why people used the word love so much. It was not because it was a four letter word or because they were faking it, or even because their love wasn't deep. It was because it was the only word that one could get their point across clean and clear.

He pulled back and smiled at Draco who was shaking out of fear and happiness that he was alive. He reached his hand up and ran it over Draco jaw line. "Marry me."

Draco laughed through his tears and pulled Harry into another hug. "If this was all a plot to find a heroic was to ask me to marry you, I have to say you did a shitty job." Draco whispered into Harry's neck, causing Harry to smile fondly and kiss his neck. "Of course I'll marry you, you idiot." Draco mumbled.

Harry smiled and pulled Draco into a kiss. "I love you." He whispered into the kiss.

Draco smiled into the kiss and whispered back. "I know."


End file.
